I stole this from the Crew.. just had to post it

Today, in Malaysia, there is no longer just the

Chinese. Along the way, the Chinese people divided

beyond dialects and religious faith. We now have

denomination within the Chinese. The major three

groups are Regular, Cina, and Ah Beng.

The Regular group is the minority, making up less than

20% of the Chinese people. This group has the

following characteristics:

1. Speaks English as the first language.
2. Thinks the world owes them a living.
3. Uses the Internet more than the other two groups combined.
4. Loves the iPod and/or IKEA.
5. Watches one or more of the following TV series: "Sex And The City", "Friends", or "CSI."
6. Thinks that the Regular group is way larger than it is and makes fun of the other groups, particularly the Ah Beng group. Why? Because it's fun.

Recent studies have also shown that there is a growing

splinter group within the Regular group known as the

CPWTTANC group. (CPWTTANC is short for Chinese People

Who Think They Are Not Chinese.) This growing subgroup

are considered elitist by some and are found making

statements like "I wish I were in the U.S." or "This

never happened when I was studying in Australia." They

also tend to speak with an unidentifiable accent. The

women may also prefer to date white men from foreign

countries with the excuse that local men just "don't

understand me" and have the secret desire to be taken

away to the U.S. to live in a sitcom.

The second Chinese group, Cina make up approximately

55% of the Chinese community. (Cina is derived from

the Malay word Cina which means Chinese and is

pronounced "chee-na". And you will have to say it in a >

condescending tone for effect.) This group is

considered mainstream and contribute to the numbers

that reflect development in the country. They are the

masses in context of the Chinese community. In other

words, if you want to sell something to the masses of

Chinese people, the Cina is it.

The Cina are identified by the following traits:

1. Speaks Mandarin or Cantonese as the first language.
2. Generally quiet, self-effacing, and obliging but are actually shrewd and calculative.
3. Sees Taiwan as the place to be.
4. More likely to forward chain email to people in their address book.
5. Goes to Halo Café or Wow Wow Café BY CHOICE at least three times a year.
6. Has Astro hardwired to Wah Lai Toi.
7. Calls a music video an MTV instead of music video.
8. Knows all the dim sum dishes by name.
9. Seventy percent of lighting at home generated by flourescent lights.

The last group are known as the Ah Bengs . This term

was probably made up by the Regulars in the early 80s

during the cultural invasion that saw the mass import

of music and movies from countries like Hong Kong,

Taiwan, and to some extent, Japan. This phenomenon saw

the more open-minded and runaway members of the Cina

group defect into Ah Bengs and its feminine

equivalent,

Ah Lian. They just took their Alan Tam and Anita Mui

a little too seriously.

Perhaps the most made-fun-of group not only by its own

Chinese people but by people of other races, the Ah

Bengs are often seen as people living on the edge and

have more flamboyant tastes.

One may identify the Ah Beng by these tell-tale signs:

1. Built-in visual self-defense mechanism that keeps people away from them.
2. Have enough amplifiers in their one car to power speakers for six cars.
3. Hair not in their original colour.
4. Volume of voice is automatically five decibels higher than everyone else.
5. Excessive use of the phrase "Kan Ni Na Bu Ciao Chee Bai(Although, to be fair, some members of the Regular group have been reported to use the phrase on a daily basis as well.)
6. Once a fan of one of the following groups: Vengaboys, Dr Bombay, Aqua, or the Cheeky Girls.
7. Their Proton car does not look like a Proton car due to modifications.
8. For the Ah Lians, have at least one bag fashioned after a furry animal complete with the head.